A Mile Wide and an Inch Deep

There’s a saying, “A mile wide and an inch deep.” I heard this many years ago, and it struck me, because I realized it was something that I did all the time. Beside taking care of three children and a home, I was doing yoga, and taking horseback riding lessons. I loved to hike or take walks in nature. I spent an inordinate amount of time doing crafts like knitting, sewing or hooking rugs. I poured over cookbooks and spent a lot of time preparing great meals. I noodled around on the guitar. I was (and still am) a voracious reader. And I was doing a lot of painting, too, on commission. For my “down time” I’d watch too much TV and read fashion magazines. (This was before the Internet, so Facebook and Instagram weren’t around, but those also became distractions in their time.) While most of these things seem quite edifying, I was doing none of them with any sense of cultivating depth or understanding. Generally, most of these activities were all just surface, done for entertainment, to remain busy when I was bored.  

Hearing the “Mile Wide” quote, it dawned on my that I had a desire to learn to do one thing really well in this lifetime, and that one thing was Ashtanga Yoga. Of all my activities, I knew that it was the best for my wellbeing in the long run. I loved how it made me feel, inside and out. I was intrigued by the centuries of knowledge that could be studied, and the states of being that could be experienced. I had a passion for it. But, I still struggled to find the time to practice. While I couldn’t and didn’t want to stop parenting and caring for my home (that was my first priority) I realized it was time to let some of my less edifying and less productive activities drop away, and make room for some depth in my life. 

What I let go of:

1. Television. I grew up in a household where the TV was on 18 hours a day or more, and it really drained me, in retrospect. Saying “no” to TV felt like a gain. I watch less than 6 hours a week now, mostly nature shows or good films on Netflix.
2. My iPhone. My children used to accuse me of being obsessed with my iPhone - and they were right. I constantly used my phone to email, to text, to take photos and videos, to check social media. When the Internet came into my life, I fell into it with gusto, and spent way too much time surfing and gossiping online. While I do still have accounts on Facebook and Instagram to stay in touch with far-flung friends, I make an effort to curtail my use, and occasionally “fast” from social media for several days. The most important thing I have done about my phone is to actually shut off the ringer, so that it remains silent throughout the day. If I don't hear it ring or buzz, I won't answer it, and so, I am less enslaved to it. Admittedly, I'm less accessible: I only answer my phone if I happen to glance and see that someone is calling, and I don't get an alert when texts come in. I simply check the phone periodically, usually after I'm done teaching, and then a few other times during the day. I use the phone as a means of staying in touch - but only when it is convenient for me, and not at the convenience of everyone else - including my family. 

1. Magazines. I canceled almost all of my subscriptions. I notice I’m much happier and less self conscious about how I look or dress, because I no longer expose myself to beautiful but expensive fashions, or to models whom I will never, ever look like. I only subscribe to one weekly magazine now, the New Yorker; the writing is in-depth and excellent, although I rarely make it through an entire issue.
2. Crafts. I got rid of the crafts, and honed it down to just knitting occasionally; it is a meditative practice. I gave away much of my craft gear to family or the Goodwill. Again, not a loss. 
3. Guitar. I stopped playing guitar. I realized I never was going to be a good guitarist, and although I have a decent singing voice, my fantasy of being the lead singer in a blues/rock band might have to wait until my next life.
4. Riding. Riding horses is a movement art form, one that arguably requires even more time, money and effort than yoga. Still, this was a hard choice for me: I have been a horse nut my entire life. I gave this up because it just took too much money and time, and I did not want to be responsible for the care of a horse. 
5. Painting - because it had become a chore. I painted not for pleasure, but for money - which is not a good reason to keep doing anything. I know that there will be a time in my life when I can return to painting for the sake of simply making art; it’s on my back burner for now

I let go of anything that I could not devote conscientious attention to, and more importantly, I let go of anything that didn’t bring me joy.* (This is an adaptation of the KonMari method, from the recent book,  The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up.  A great book if you want to start learning how to declutter your home and your life - highly recommended!)

What I didn’t let go of:

1. Reading. I turned my voracious reading habit into one of the niyamas - that of svadhyaya/self study - and began to study in earnest the ancient yoga texts, and Sanskrit. As well, I turned more to classic literature from around the world, versus speed reading through the latest “beach read” or NY Times Bestseller. There's a reason the classic books are classic. They are timeless, and there is much wisdom to be found there. 
2. Hiking. I am fortunate to live in a place where there’s great hiking. To be in the woods or along a river,  with my dogs, or with friends or family, every day if possible, is a form of practice for me. 
3. Cooking. I still spend a good deal of time mindfully preparing healthy, whole, home made unprocessed meals for my family. It is never a chore, but always a fun challenge to create something delicious and nutritious.

Focusing more on these joy-bringing activities, in addition to my Ashtanga practice, has simplified and enriched my life considerably. I feel less stressed and hectic. My home is less cluttered with stuff. I have more time to do what I love: take care of my family, do my practice, hike, and teach Ashtanga Yoga to my wonderful students. 

What can you let go of, to make more room in your life for what brings you joy?


*Granted, sometimes Ashtanga Yoga does not bring me “joy.” Sometimes it’s a slog, and sometimes its really uncomfortable, and sometimes it’s frustrating. But, I’ve found that there is joy in the effort of just doing the practice, even on the days when it doesn’t feel “good.” To sense that I have a deep understanding and connection to my breath, a relationship of awareness and acceptance of my body, and the ability to begin to see more clearly how to act compassionately and be fully human through this practice makes the less “joyful” times worth the effort to get beyond them. Because I always seem to get beyond them, even when practice seems awful!

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